What Does Our Response to Conflict Say About Us
We've all been there. Someone says something that just gets under your skin; the team you're leading simply isn't getting along, or you accept some serious issues about the direction your company is going.
It's a fact: If you are a living, animate human existence, yous're going to face up disharmonize, especially at work. Disagreements are simply part of life. In fact, information technology's and so common that in a recent report past the CCP Global Man Capital Report, 85% of employees experience some kind of conflict at work one .
The issues may exist like the examples above or for a multitude of other reasons. And that'due south not necessarily a bad thing. Conflict can exist salubrious and resolve a lot of problems or it can exist disastrous—causing even worse problems. Information technology's how you lot handle them that's going to make all the deviation in the outcome.
The Choices for Responding to Conflict
When information technology comes to disharmonize, it may feel like you lot don't have a choice. And sometimes that's true. In that location is the dominate who believes, "It'due south my way or the highway," for example. Or the passive-aggressive coworker who denies they're upset when you ask them about an issue.
Merely you exercise accept a option of how you lot respond, and that's where the deviation in the upshot comes into play. That'due south what this weblog postal service is most.
How people handle conflict is as diverse and complex equally the people involved. Either deliberately or passively, people take preferred means of dealing with disagreements. Behind these styles are sure attitudes that shape behavior. Our responses reflect who nosotros are, our experiences and our perceived values.
For instance, a person who assumes conflict is basically evil volition tend to avoid it. Others who run into conflict as a part of life will take a more active function when they feel disputes. While different, no approach is inherently skillful or bad. They are only different.
The diagram to a higher place illustrates how diverse approaches to conflict—avoidance, adaptation, contest, compromise and collaboration—depend on whether the individual places a higher value on maintaining good relationships, or on achieving his or her personal goals.
The 5 Nearly Mutual Responses to Conflict
Listed above are the five well-nigh mutual approaches to conflict used by most people. We go more in-depth about each beneath.
1. Abstention
This arroyo to conflict reflects the belief that it is impossible to both accomplish your personal goals and maintain relationships while in a dispute. The basic strategy of avoidance is to withdraw, suppress and deny the existence of the conflict.
A person using this style is unassertive, neither pursuing his or her own interests in the southituation nor supporting others in achieving theirs. This person will not cooperate indefining the conflict or seeking a solution to it.
The Outcome: Avoided conflict will typically resurface at some point, nearly likely with more than intensity and a greater potential for destruction than when first identified. Interestingly, avoidance is linked to higher occupational stress levels. Further, it can result in hostile interactions and foster low morale.
As with all approaches to conflict, avoidance can be appropriate in some instances and inappropriate in others.
An Example: When logging on to the reckoner and finding an electronic mail from someone with whom y'all do not want to communicate, avoidance may be advisable. Some bug just go abroad or resolve themselves. If, however, the electronic mail is from a superior or a spouse, avoidance could have serious consequences. Like with all approaches, the approach of avoidance is non inherently good or bad. Wisdom is reflected in choosing it at the appropriate time.
two. Accommodation
Accommodation every bit a response to conflict is characterized past a high concern for preserving the human relationship, even if it ways conceding ane's own goals.
An supposition underlying this approach is that a relationship is preserved without disharmonize. The accommodator may feel guilty if he or she causes conflict. In many cases, life experiences may have taught accommodators that it is not safe to have disharmonize.
Other reasons for choosing this approach might include a high demand for acceptance by others and the belief that adaptation will permit those needs to be met.
The Consequence: The person who uses accommodation accepts the burden of responsibility for maintaining the human relationship. The option to be accommodating can be advantageous—peculiarly if a person is capable of choosing a more than direct, competitive style when information technology is merited. Without the adequacy of choosing some other style, however, the message is sent that what the accommodator wants or needs is not important, thereby making that person field of study to exploitation.
Accommodation tin can also be appropriate or inappropriate.
An Example: When walking through a dark aisle, yous feel the cold steel of a gunpressed upwardly against your back and the raspy voice of a hoodlum enervating your wallet and car keys. This is a pretty skilful time for accommodation. You want the all-time relationship with the attacker, even if it means giving in to all of his demands!
On the other hand, there are times when accommodation is inappropriate. A teenager may demand the use of the machine, an extremely late curfew and use of a parent's credit card for a night out on the town. While a parent hopes for a valuable relationship with the teenager, accommodation of every demand will neither upshot in a responsible immature person nor, ultimately, genuine respect between the parent and child.
Accommodation can exist both effective and ineffective every bit an arroyo to managing conflict.
iii. Competition
This win-or-lose fashion of conflict management is characterized past a super loftier business organisation for the achievement of personal goals, even at the run a risk of damaging or destroying relationships.
The person who uses this style may not desire damage to come to others simply is willing to sacrifice about anything to reach personal objectives. People who apply the competing style exercise not always go caput to head with the opposition. Sometimes they work subversively. At other times, they utilise the ability of words to humiliate and weaken their opponents until they finally bring them nether control.
An Case: There are times when competing is the best fashion to use in a conflict. When quick, of import decisions must be made because of an emergency, competition is appropriate. The aforementioned assaulter who was accommodated in his need for your wallet in the aisle may be the recipient of great competition if he enters your home and attempts to harm your child.
The Outcome: When a conflict concerns the protection of those nosotros beloved, rights that are fundamental to our beingness or beliefs that we agree dear, competition may be appropriate.
On the other hand, competition is often inappropriately used. Violence is a growing concern in hospitals beyond the state. When someone seeks to harm another, whether physically, socially or politically, to accelerate themselves within an organization, subversive outcomes often result. As with avoidance and accommodation, the challenge is not to decide whether competition is good or bad, but rather to wisely choose when to use it.
four. Compromise
This is a style of conflict management that proposes a middle ground to others. It reflects some willingness to compete for a item resolution, but also some adaptation of the human relationship between the parties.
Inherent in the compromising style is the idea of providing the other side with concessions while at the aforementioned fourth dimension expecting concessions from them.
This arroyo is based on the premise that no one tin can be fully satisfied, then all those involved must sacrifice some of their personal desires to serve the common good of both parties. The sense of compromise can take a negative connotation.
The Outcome: Compromising integrity for personal proceeds or compromising long-held behavior for short-term advantages may exist perceived as inappropriate to some in conflict. Many times, the thought of moving from an enthusiastically taken position to a indicate where agreement can exist reached feels unacceptable.
Compromise can lead to half-hearted commitments and recurring disharmonize under the guise of new issues. It rarely sets the stage for loftier satisfaction, and many times information technology leaves behind feelings of frustration and disenchantment.
An Example: Compromise does take some appropriate applications, though. It allows parties to attain some of their goals without jeopardizing relationships. Labor and management negotiations assume that in that location will be compromise from the extreme positions initially taken past the opposing parties. Legislators drag compromise to an fine art-form equally they give and take in lodge to pass legislation.
In both of these examples, compromise is perceived every bit an effective way to handle differences by providing some of what each party needs, while maintaining sufficient relationships and then the groups can continue to work together.
Compromise, like abstention, accommodation and competition, can be appropriately or inappropriately utilized.
v. Collaboration
As a conflict management way, collaboration combines a high business concern for both people and objectives. It's a win-win for everyone involved.
Collaboration asks the question: "Is at that place a way to movement beyond the adversarial positions evident in conflict, understand the true needs of the parties and then use a creative procedure to discover a mutually-satisfying solution?"
This arroyo works best when all parties are committed to the resolution of conflict. Notwithstanding, collaboration is non always possible or even desired. Some parties simply practise not care well-nigh or expect to accept a future relationship as illustrated by those on ii sides of a personal injury dispute. An injured passenger involved in an car accident wants the appropriate payment from the insurance company after which neither anticipates dealing with each other again. There is niggling reason to expect collaboration.
Merely, alternatively, collaboration holds great potential for those in conflict.
The Outcome: The furnishings of the collaborative manner are positive when information technology is consistently applied. Increased trust, stronger relationships, enthusiastic implementation of goals and a higher resolution of conflicts are ofttimes achieved. Individuals who are able to concentrate on the issues without getting caught in negative emotions volition detect this style produces more satisfactory outcomes.
The challenge with this approach is that it takes a peachy deal of fourth dimension because it necessitates exploring the needs of all parties and crafting solutions that run across those needs. It too requires communication skills and a genuine commitment to resolving conflict.
An Example: Two partners at a tech company disagree over when a new product will be launched. Instead of fighting and each demanding their own timeline, the pair sit down downwards and discuss a solution. Afterwards several hours of negotiation, they come up with a new programme that works for both of them.
None of the approaches to disharmonize are inherently good or bad. The critical point to recognize is that people may choose from a variety of approaches to deal with disharmonize, and the choice will have an bear upon on both the way the issue is resolved and the people involved.
Where To Get From Here
The Lowry Group, LLC (TLG) is the outgrowth of well-nigh three decades of experience helping organizations achieve their side by side level of success throughout the Us and effectually the globe, including conflict resolution. TLG's work began as an external consulting, systems design, and training resource composed of faculty from the Straus Establish for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine Academy School of Law. But TLG has moved beyond its academic roots to respond to repeated requests from corporate and regime organizations for "real earth" assistance.The TLG team has been called past scores of major organizations that must become more than effective in negotiating sales, concern transactions, client relationships and disputes.
Conflict is an inherent part of life. Left unchecked, however, it can bring even the biggest and well-intentioned organizations to heel. What makes companies and individuals truly successful is the ability to ably manage conflict. We created ConflictStop as the only resource you need to place, resolve, and manage conflict. From CEOs to small-scale business owners, and to anyone managing a squad – developing the skills to navigate disharmonize is non just important, information technology's imperative.
Source: https://lowrygroup.net/blog/how-to-respond-to-conflict-5-common-approaches/